Conflict in the workplace, especially for those in leadership roles, is unavoidable. Issues will come in all shapes and sizes: interpersonal, productivity or professionalism related, communication breakdowns, etc. The one thing that all workplace conflict has in common is that the problems will all grow quickly when avoided.
Putting conflict off to the side to be left untended is simply a bad idea. It is like noticing a weed growing in your yard in the Spring and assuring yourself that you can wait through a few weeks to deal with a single sprout. Inevitably, the rains will come and the weeds will spread and take root. Take even a simple situation like miscommunicated or misunderstood expectations. The longer people work under those assumptions, the more “normal” the expectations come. When we let those issues become well-traveled paths for people, it will create an even bigger “uprooting” when we finally decide to be bigger than our anxiety and seek resolution.
There are easy steps to face our conflict avoidant anxieties.
- Just face it. You are in a conflict. Whatever has happened in the past to get you to this point might need to be analyzed to ensure that the same situation will not be created in the future, but those circumstances cannot be changed. You are now here, in Conflictsville. Welcome.
- Think it through. Slow down and do some quality critical thinking about engineering a better way forward. Come up with a plan or solution. Sometimes, the first step might need to be a genuine apology. Not an “I’m sorry, but you…”. Just an “I am sorry and here is how I am going to fix it”. You may need to apologize for avoiding the conflict and letting it grow. Own it and solve it.
- See past the current transaction into the preservation of relationship. One of the things that may have been growing in your avoidance greenhouse may have been your own frustration and anger. Be sure that when you engage the other party, you are doing so in a way that you will be heard and the other person will feel valued. Presentation matters. Package your solution in ways that match what you want people to think about themselves in order to be productive and holistically well.
To learn more about facing high stakes issues productively, contact FutureSYNC International at (406) 254-2326.